Staring at a blank page is scary as a writer, because you are just not sure what might fill it. This is not due to worrying about your writing, but more so the lack of knowledge about where it will take you.
This time I would like to talk about a topic that may be controversial, and possibly spoken about so much it becomes trite. I want to take this biweekly spot to talk a little bit about mental health, community, and positivity.
This becomes especially important on a day that commemorates such a sad event, a day that turned the world upside down, and for many people marked the end of an era and the start of a much darker one. 25 years ago our world faced an impalpable tragedy, and while it may never be fully grasped in our minds, I hope everyone has a moment in their day today or this weekend to reflect on it however you feel most equipped.
To start this article I would be mistaken not to start by saying that if you or anyone you know are struggling with mental health issues please do not be scared to reach out for help, whether that be a friend, family member, healthcare professional, or a national hotline like 988 in the United States and Canada. Check in on your loved ones and people who matter to you, sometimes we never know what people are struggling with on the inside.
Given our readership and demographics, I can take a confident stance in saying that the majority of those reading this today are men on the younger side of life, the majority likely being Generation Z and Millennials. My generation in particular has had an uptick in reported mental health cases and incidents of harm, nothing is more saddening.
While I will not comment on the global theories and scientific research surrounding why this might be occurring, nor can I say that I am well versed in the medical fields surrounding mental health, I can speak anecdotally as a person who has seen these struggles around me, and what I try to do for myself to combat them. Everybody has their own ways of coping with what happens inside of us, but I am writing this as a more personal expression to explain what works for me. I believe that in today’s world if we are not actively doing something to raise our mental spirits, we will not be able to live our best lives.
What I think this microsphere of the internet–that we at TNBC are a part of–has done well is that writers and members of this community often highlight something that is important: Passion.
Whether we like it or not, people in today’s world do not dress up the same for work or a stroll around town as we like to advocate for, but because of a passion for fine clothing and style we decide to do that.
This idea of passion, whether that be for art, for books, for writing, for sport, or for style and fashion, is incredibly important to me for establishing a belonging. When I think about belonging, I think of a place I can be where the negativity we might face outside disappears. Not where everyone is homogeneous but a place and community where positivity is spread between people.
Finding belonging and a positive atmosphere is an important step in bringing people closer together. Personally for me that means getting involved (or getting other people involved) in local groups around my city, or writing for this blog. For others in my readership, as I have seen recently, that could mean going to a local classic car meet or volunteering for an organization. Whatever that means for you, I suggest that this idea of belonging is something that matters to our health and wellbeing.
Another habit that I have started very recently is journaling. I find that taking these few minutes out of my day to write about something allows me to take a step back and frame what is happening in my life, the good and the bad.
When I had first gotten a recommendation to keep a journal I dismissed it as something that was not for me, I can say that I was mistaken. So much so that I would like to recommend it to other people.
If you do not keep a journal, I would like to recommend that you start. Whether that means writing “word salad” with the first things that come to mind or clearly organizing your thoughts, I find it helps me engage the creative and personal side of my writing voice that does not get as much room to speak as I would like.
Touching back on belonging, place is important. Whether that be a room in your apartment or house, a certain couch or seat, a bench or tree to sit under, or a coffee shop or library you frequent, having dedicated places has helped me compartmentalize my life.
Having these modes where I am not thinking about everything, everywhere, and all at once grant me the liberty to enjoy certain moments in my day in isolation of events around me. When I am sitting down at lunch, I try my best not to be concerned with my work, or when I am at a coffee shop sitting down to write I do my best not to be thinking of a problem I might have had in my social life. These parts of my day I work to separate from one another; before my conscious action to prevent this I struggled with having a constant interconnectivity weighing on me throughout the day.
This feeling is only magnified when we have a constant way of contact in our pocket. A news source always telling us what is happening in the world, a friend always notifying us of the exciting news they have, a famous person posting on their social media, we cannot run away from this extension of ourselves that is our online presence. While people are more connected than ever before–being only a message away from most people in the world–in an odd twist it is the feeling of being disconnected that makes me the happiest, and possibly for you too.
For me, I have been taking some time each day to exercise or take a stroll without my phone. I also have been making a conscious decision to leave my phone in the bag and not in my pocket to try and disconnect during the small times I have during the day.
Some of the people close to me have taken more limiting measures like deleting social media, or even buying a flip phone; this basic idea of balancing your connectivity with your personal boundaries is important in our society today.
Now, you might be wondering if this was the proper platform for a writing like this, and I wonder the same thing. Above I have written some things that make me feel more secure in my mental health and I know many other people have taken similar actions to do the same.
I want to hear from the readership what actions you might take to balance your day and overcome the modern social paradigms that we face as younger men.
While the readership for this is quite isolated, perhaps take some time to think about small things you might be able to do that will increase your feelings of self-care. Whether that be something that I spoke about above or another idea that you have thought of, I encourage you to take some time to yourself this weekend to reflect a little bit on our world, and make a change or reinforce a good habit that improves your mental health.
I hope everyone is well,
-Theo
What I’ve been:
Reading: The Outlier: The Unfinished Presidency of Jimmy Carter by Kai Bird
Watching: The Gentleman (TV Series)
Listening to: Born Under a Bad Sign by Albert King